Friday, July 22, 2011

Thoughts and Insights I Had While at Seven Peaks

Caution: This post contains graphic description, uncensored opinion, and the f-word...(fat).

Regarding children...

*Women who bring newborns to the pool deserve a medal of honor.

*Parents who allow their children to run full speed and chase each other through crowded places should be water boarded.

*The only thing worse than cold water in the Lazy River, is cold water with occasional warm spots.

Regarding the fact that only a handful of adults can look GREAT in a swimsuit...

*There is a difference between 'fit' fat and 'jiggly' fat and most of us over the age of 12 have both. The trick is to cover as much jiggly as possible, limbs excluded, of course.

*If, like mine, your stomach or breast region has the consistency of bread dough, Jell-o, or that of a deflated balloon, no one else should have to see it. And I'm not just talking women...

*The solution to many of the body image issues so prevalent in our society are just a pair of board shorts and a tankini top away. I wear both.

*Whether you are size 2 or 22, tan fat looks better than white fat, but covered fat looks best. One can be happy and secure with one's body image without exposing every last imprudent inch of it.

*Due to the (apparent) rapid decline of honest friends, there is a rising need for more mirrors at public pools.

Regarding human silliness...

*The concept of renting a tube and then paying to have it babysat so no one else can take it, is an interesting one--almost as intriguing as people saving seats at church with their scriptures, or better yet, their pajama-clad children...(true story).

*High heels with a bikini in Provo, Utah. Really?

*I love the argument that breast implants are akin to orthodontics. You are just fixing an imperfection...Tonight we went to a family night at the water park that was sponsored by our orthodontist. Saw lots of great smiles and very few boob jobs (by Utah standards). Apparently, the types of moms who care about their kids' teeth, don't care about breast augmentation (or they just can't afford to).

*I paid how much for that handful of fries? Bring on the jiggly.


Rena said...

I lol-ed at the "warm spots" imagery. Eck.

Plus, I'm already self conscience about my jiggly, and now I'm worried about it being tan enough.

Anonymous said...

Don't you dare be self conscious! You have great taste and always look great wherever you go. (And remember, I've seen you in your swim apparel)

Also, if I had nice tan skin like yours, I would maybe dare show a little more of my jiggly, but since I don't...I keep it under wraps:)


Emily Robinson said...

You kill me! Mirrors at the swimming pool? Way to come up with a solution to an ever growing problem!! Hilarious AND true. That is what this blog is.

Anonymous said...

Okay, not sure why I can't post using my own name...But thanks, Emily! I am having so much fun laughing at life:) Glad you are enjoying it with me.